Coach Tom rides to the rescue of fourth-grade YMCA team

There's finally a coach in my family.

Son-in-law Tom came to the rescue of grandson Mark's YMCA basketball team.

Men or women weren't standing in line eager to coach this group of fourth-grade boys in Madison, Wis.

It's not like these were the Bad News Bears. In fact, they're pretty talented and at least know the basics of basketball.

I'm not sure what the problem was, although these youth-coaching gigs can be time-consuming and they're also not always parent friendly.

You know the problems.

Hey, coach, why isn't my kid playing more?

It always easier to coach from the stands.

Your coaching mistakes often are obvious to everyone, while your genius moves can be invisible.

And then you think to yourself, I don't need these coaching headaches. I have enough problems at work.

I guess those problems don't stop with fourth graders. Coaches hear that from parents right through the senior year of high school.

It's not easy taking a bunch of kids and giving them equal playing time. You get so caught up in the game that you may overlook somebody sitting on the bench.

My son-in-law wasn't crazy about volunteering at first, and Mark wasn't crazy about having his dad as the coach.

How does it work when you coach your own son?

Favoritism? Or is it just the opposite to show you're really trying hard to be fair?

Tom admits the practice gym for the kids isn't anything to brag about. Interestingly, it's where grandson Mark goes to school.

"Probably built before basketball was invented," Tom says. He wasn't laughing.

He sends the boys through the basic drills at each practice but knows the attention span for fourth-graders is lacking. He tries to make it interesting, so they're having some fun while learning.

The first returns have been encouraging despite 2 close losses, but there's a long way to go.

I'm proud of my son-in-law's willingness to help the fourth-graders when they were without a coach. He may not realize it now, but I guarantee he will look back on this experience with fondness.

Coaching is a collection of moments and experiences, a collage of memories.

Tom is not getting paid for coaching, but I know he understands that he has been given the responsibility -- the opportunity -- to help guide and teach and mold young people.

They say the payment comes in watching these boys develop.

I don't plan to interfere in his first year of coaching, but if Tom asked I would tell him that he needs to appreciate things as they occur. He needs to develop understanding and to have patience.

I would tell him not to rush with the kids and to enjoy each day, each moment.

I would tell him he should give each player confidence, not rejection.

I would tell him that youth-sports coaches succeed with passion and communication, not intimidation.

I would tell him to be a role model and not lose his cool on the court. Remember, nobody is getting fired for a loss in fourth-grade YMCA basketball.

Of course, the way some parents are these days in evaluating their child's coach, that might not even be a safe bet.

I would tell him to always remember that nobody is perfect, especially that fourth-grader who just blew the layup or the one who threw the ball out of bounds.

Kids make mistakes, mental and physical. They're kids.

I also would tell him to keep it simple at this age level.

I love the story Digger Phelps, former Notre Dame coach and now TV analyst, tells about the youth basketball coach who was shouting, "Sit on the ball! Sit on the ball!" as the clock started to run down in a close game with his team in the lead by a point.

The confused kids were in a panic situation with the parents and coaches all shouting.

The coach obviously meant, "Don't shoot because we want to run out the clock."

One player, however, took him at his word and literally sat on the ball.

Whistle. Violation.

The other team came down and scored the winning basket.

That's not exactly a "Hoosiers" moment.