Quote & unquote

As the days dwindle down to a precious few and the end of another year approaches, my search is finally over.

After 12 months of reading and listening, I found what I was looking for in the print and electronic media. I found my favorite words of wisdom that appeared in our wide world of sports during 2007.

There's now an empty desk drawer in my den at home. That's where I always toss the sports quotes I think have a chance of making this annual column. The work starts on Jan. 1 each year and really centers on the discipline and persistence required almost on a daily basis in the research process.

I also get some welcomed help from staffers at this newspaper and Daily Herald readers, who are eager to submit a quote or two or three they believe is worthy of consideration.

The enjoyment comes in going through all the quotes again and making the final selections. The cutting-room floor is loaded with good quotes, but space always dictates. Golfers, as usual, contributed the most comments. I'm not sure why.

The envelope, please.

And the winners are, in no particular order …

Rex Grossman, Bears quarterback, to reporters at Super Bowl media day: "I'm realizing how ignorant you guys are. But I don't mean that in a bad way."

Mike Penner, Los Angeles Times columnist: "Animal rights activists are trying to stop Kansas State fans from tossing live chickens onto the basketball court. Where were these people when Rex Grossman was throwing wounded ducks at the Super Bowl?"

Ozzie Guillen, White Sox manager, after his team was outscored 21-4 in a doubleheader sweep by the Red Sox: "That's 12 hours of my life wasted, and I'm never going to get it back."

Lou Piniella, Cubs manager, on what he sees in reliever Neal Cotts, who had a 7.20 ERA in the spring: "I see he gives up runs every time he pitches."

Paul Konerko of the White Sox: "I stopped caring about strikeouts a long time ago. The way I see it, when I strike out, I don't run to first and show off how slow I am."

Scott Skiles, former Bulls coach, on being compared by reporters to Miami Heat coach Pat Riley: "If I thought you guys knew anything, I'd be flattered."

Josh Paul, Devil Rays catcher and former Buffalo Grove High School star, on taking his first drug test of the 2007 season: "The key is to hit the cup."

Tim Doyle, basketball player at Northwestern, after watching Greg Oden lead Ohio State to a win over the Wildcats: "I thought Vince (Scott) played him as well as he could have. Oden's going to be a pro, and Vince is going to be an investment banker."

Oden, now making $3.9 million as an injured NBA rookie, asked how he likes Portland: "The only thing is, they don't have any Wal-Marts near my house. I go to Best Buy or Target, but those places are pretty expensive."

Claire Voris, softball pitcher for Barrington High School, after posting a 20-3 victory over Fremd: "With a 17-run lead, it's a little easier to pitch in the bottom of the seventh."

Mark Cuban, owner of the NBA's Dallas Mavericks, on how long it took him to get over the Mavericks' upset loss to the Warriors in the playoffs: "About three six-packs."

Jim Palmer, 62-year-old Hall of Fame pitcher, on his wedding proposal: "I didn't have any problem getting down on my knee, but I had a problem getting back up."

Soccer announcer, whose question in the press box was unwittingly broadcast to thousands of fans over the public-address system during a game in England with Marske United: "Has anyone got any cheese?"

Tony LaRussa, St. Louis Cardinals manager, on the advice he gave the University of Florida basketball team: "Same thing I tell my players: Get so far ahead that the coach can't screw it up."

Boo Weekly, PGA player, on the food in Scotland during The Open Championship: "It's different eating here than it is at the house. Ain't got no sweet tea, and ain't got no fried chicken."

Lucas Glover, PGA player from South Carolina, on being in contention at the British Open: "This is the icing on the gravy."

Bruce Scheidegger, girls basketball coach at Sterling High School, talking about playing a Fenwick team that featured two McDonald's All-Americans: "We like to eat at McDonald's sometimes after games, and that's about as close to all-American as we get."

Gary Koch, NBC golf analyst, on the travails of Phil Mickelson: "I liken watching Phil to the NASCAR fans and why they watch NASCAR. You're always waiting for the wreck to happen."

George Will, political columnist: "Football is a mistake. It combines the two worst elements of American life. Violence and committee meetings."

Jerry Wainwright, DePaul men's basketball coach, on how his players, particularly the new faces, were approaching a road game with Creighton: "They're all going to have butterflies. It won't be a Knute Rockne (speech) in the locker room. It'll be more of a Dr. Phil."

Emmitt Smith, NFL Hall of Famer, on his waning years with the Cowboys: "When I was 20, I got butterflies when I ran out on the field. At 34, I got moths."

Tim Kawakami, columnist for the San Jose Mercury News, after Serena Williams pulled out of the Bank of the West Tennis Classic: "You can do such things when you already own the Bank of the East, North, South, and Midwest."

Bob Rosburg, who is 80 years old and continues as a television golf analyst: "Something's wrong here. My youngest son is already retired, and I'm still working."

Harry Connick Jr., singer, pianist and actor, on keeping other people from watching him play golf: "I don't care how much it costs. I'll book five tee times before me and five after me."

Ichiro Suzuki, Seattle Mariners outfielder, on why he ran out of the baseline to escape a potential rundown: "I hate being touched by other people. I'd rather run away from them."

Suzuki again, on Seattle's trip to face the Indians: "I'm not excited to go to Cleveland, but we have to. If I ever saw myself saying I'm excited going to Cleveland, I'd punch myself in the face because I'm lying."

Bucky Waters, former college basketball coach, on his all-time greatest sixth man: "I'd have to pick Leroy Byrd. He was 5-5 and could sit on or under the bench."

Dottie Pepper, Golf Channel analyst, talking about the U.S. Solheim Cup players and unaware that her microphone was still on during a commercial break: "They're chokin' freakin' dogs."

Brady Sallee, Eastern Illinois women's basketball coach, on how his team shot in a 63-41 loss to Samford: "It looked like we were trying to shoot a football into a basketball goal."

Mike Gillespie, USC baseball coach: "They say that all the breaks even up in the long run. True, but only for marathon runners."

Fred Couples, PGA player: "I'm playing as well as I have ever played, except for the years I've played better."

Couples again: "Putting is 'Clutch City.' From 5 feet into the hole, you're in the throw-up zone."

Brandel Chamblee, former pro player and now Golf Channel analyst: "I love watching the U.S. Open for the vomit factor, seeing guys look like they're about to throw up."

Dale Berra, former major-league player, on whether he is anything like his father, Yogi: "No, our similarities are different."

Eric Schwartz, caddie for Corey Pavin, when asked if the veteran PGA Tour player had changed anything before the start of the 2007 season: "Just his underwear."

Willie Randolph, New York Mets manager, when asked why he shaved his moustache in the wake of his team's epic season-ending collapse: "I was going to cut my throat, but I aimed too high."

Dean McAmmond, NHL player, after suffering his second concussion in four months: "I don't feel I have a concussion. I have a problem with people giving me traumatic blows to the head."

Keith Jackson, retired college football TV icon, on receiving awards: "If you can't eat from it, drink from it, or cash it, don't bother showing up for it."

Jackson again, on what he's doing in retirement: "I'm doing things old men do, like trying not to catch the flu."

Lou Holtz, longtime football coach and now analyst, on fatherhood: "I loved my little boy until he told me he wanted to grow up to be a football coach. I then stopped raising him and began grazing him."

Brady Quinn, former Notre Dame quarterback now playing for the Cleveland Browns, when asked how he felt losing all that money on draft day by free-falling through the first round: "I didn't lose that money. It was never mine to begin with."

Chip Kelly, former Tennessee football player, on how his wife felt when he finished second in the Ugliest-Man-on-Campus Contest: "She said I was robbed."

Zach Johnson, PGA player appearing on David Letterman after his Masters victory: "Thanks to global warming, next year I'm playing without pants."

Jason Krause, a 10-year-old who appears on ESPN's NFL studio show, on Bobby Petrino, who bailed out as coach of the Atlanta Falcons to take the head job at Arkansas: "He's basically proven to be the weasel of all weasels."

Paul Goydos, who received a check for $936,000 for winning the Sony Open in Hawaii: "I had my best year ever today."

Donald Trump, on Trump National Golf Course, which he developed in Bedminster, N.J., with designs on hosting a U.S. Open: "This course is greater than I am."

Nancy Lopez, 50-year-old Hall of Fame golfer, on being away from the LPGA tour: "What I missed more than anything was the camaraderie of being in the locker room and telling dirty jokes and laughing."

Arthur Blank, 64-year-old owner of the Atlanta Falcons, on the benefits of some day winning the Super Bowl: "It would get my mother off my back."

Ted Nolan, coach of the Islanders in the NHL, after a 2-1 win: "My philosophy has always been if we score one more than them, we have a good chance of winning."

John Shumate, former Southeast Missouri State basketball coach, on his weak team: "It was so bad that the players were giving each other high-fives when they hit the rim."

Kevin Moen, former California tight end, looking back on the dramatic five-lateral play that beat Stanford in 1982 and how he never apologized to the trombone player he ran over in the end zone: "My feeling is if you're going to be on the field, you better be ready to play."

Dan Shaughnessy of the Boston Globe, writing about the control problems of Ryan Seier, who walked three consecutive batters with the bases loaded: "Eddie Cicotte of the 1919 White Sox didn't do that badly and he was trying to lose."

Jack LaLanne, physical fitness guru, on why he refuses to grow old: "It would ruin my image. I can't even own a fat dog."

Alan Minter, former middleweight boxing champion: "Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing -- but none of them serious."

Jim Bowden, Nationals general manager, on the surgical procedure Washington pitcher Jesus Colome underwent to have an abscess removed from his backside: "It was a serious situation. I pray for his buttocks and his family."

David Duval, PGA player, on how to get Tiger Woods to play the International: "I'd have a cocktail party Tuesday night, have him come by and meet a few people and flip him a check for half a mil and say, 'Thanks for being here.' "

Woods, when asked what he would do if he was playing the last hole of a tournament with a 1-stroke lead and got a message that his wife had gone into labor: "Well, I'll just have to play real quick, won't I?"

George O'Grady, European Tour executive director, after the World Golf Foundation announced its banned-substance list: "If Tiger's test comes back negative, what does it matter what the rest of them are on?"

If you smiled while reading this column, I did my job. If you didn't smile, go back to the beginning and try again. I guarantee there's a smile in here somewhere.

Happy New Year!