Watch out for those signs of stress or burnout in your child

I worry about burnout, and I'm not even an athlete.

I have been in this job so long that there must come a time when I will hit the wall.

Actually, I have been very close to that wall in the past year. The entire newspaper business is in a burnout stage right now, but that's another story.

How will I personally know that it's officially time to visit Human Resources and consider my options?

Will there be physical symptoms?

I haven't had a headache in years, so that obviously would be a warning sign.

Burnout.

It's a fascinating subject.

It also became a major concern when an extensive study at Michigan State University said that close to 70 percent of all kids who play organized sports will end up quitting them by the time they are 13.

I was thinking about this the other day because kids never got burned out on a sport when I was growing up in the 1940s and '50s.

It's pretty easy to understand why.

There was no specialization in youth sports and no year-round play. No indoor leagues or recreational teams. No elite or traveling teams.

No scholarship mania.

Today, it's all of the above.

You can't blame burnout entirely for 70 percent of children quitting sports by age 13. The boy or girl may have had a bad experience or develop other interests or simply get tired of parental pressure.

Parents often don't see it coming.

Any kid who specializes is at risk because that requires long periods of intense concentration and focus.

Think about the last time you had a long period of intense concentration. You needed a break, and the same is true for children.

It's easy to say that because sports are fun, kids experience a different kind of pressure that's easier to tolerate.

Stress is stress.

Pressure is pressure.

Rachel McMahon's excellent book "Revolution in the Bleachers" (Gotham Books) offered some interesting observations from Dean Koski, Lehigh University soccer coach.

"I worry that I'm dealing with 18-to-22-year-old, very talented, very bright kids who are playing at the highest level of soccer in the country," Koski said, "and they aren't passionate about playing -- not all of them -- but you can just see it in their eyes, you can see it in how they practice, because they've been doing it since they were 5 and that's all they've been doing.

"Understandably," Koski continued, "they've lost some of that passion to show up at practice and have fun and get after it and go to games and get after it, because they've just been doing it over and over and over again. I worry about that."

Koski says that at least one of his players a year is going to say, "I don't want to do it," or if they're not saying it, they're hiding it and are only playing for other people like their parents or their girlfriend or their coach.

In his book "101 Ways to Be a Terrific Sports Parent" (Simon and Schuster), Dr. Joel Fish tells parents that if children are specialized athletes, they are at risk for burnout if he or she:

• Isn't having fun anymore. Kids who aren't having fun will complain, avoid practicing, or fake illness or injuries rather than play.

• Overtrains. A child who practices, drills herself, or conditions by weightlifting or running every day or 4-5 days a week is overtraining. Eventually the body and mind will give out due to wear and tear.

It's difficult for this type of athlete to relax when there is downtime.

• Has trouble adjusting to different coaching styles. Keeping up and dealing with different coaches places kids under pressure.

• Expects too much from himself. Some kids don't understand that it really is OK to make a mistake or to have a bad game. The more perfectionist the child, the greater the pressure, and the greater the chances of burnout.

• Is being pressured to perform by Mom/Dad/Coach: Again, the more pressure, the greater the chance that the child is stressed and not having fun.

• Trains intensely in isolation. One-on-one training is common for young athletes in certain sports. But kids can feel socially isolated and lonely. There is limited contact with other young athletes to share the experience.

Remember, burnout is not limited to kids.

I'll know I have finally hit the wall when I wake up some morning, look at the clock, grimace and mumble, "Do I really have to go to work today?"