Living close to your ex has its advantages

Getting a divorce is difficult, especially when children are involved. But sometimes it's better to have your former spouse live nearby than to move to a far-away area.

Q. My wife and I are getting divorced, and we have a 10-year-old boy and a 7-year-old girl. We agreed that I would stay in our longtime home and that she would move someplace else after I give her a check for half of the equity that we have built up over the years from the house we owned together. I recently learned that she plans to use the money to buy a new home that's only two blocks away. I asked for a divorce because I never want to see this woman again. Is there some way to prevent her from purchasing a house in the same neighborhood?

A. No, probably not. Your soon-to-be ex has the right to live wherever she wants, and you have no authority to dictate who the seller of the home can sell it to -- your wife or a different buyer. If she can qualify for a loan to buy the house around the corner, she can buy it.

That said, there are a number of reasons why you might want your ex-wife to live nearby.

For starters, you actually could see her less than you would if she moved to a distant neighborhood: Instead of suffering through awkward pick-up and drop-off moments with her when it's your time to visit with the kids, the children could simply walk over to your house when your visitation rights begin and then walk back when the time is over. This could reduce the chances of ugly confrontations with your former spouse and save both of you the time and gas money that would be involved if she lived farther away.

Your children also might benefit if your ex purchases a house nearby, because they would be consistently living in the same area that they grew up in, could keep going to the same schools and could maintain the same friendships that they probably started to build when they were toddlers. That's important, because it can help the kids better cope with the fact that Mom and Dad are no longer together.

And, from my own personal experience -- I filed for divorce several years ago -- having your ex-spouse live or work nearby can give you a better opportunity to stay involved with your kids even on those days that you don't have custody.

I have legal custody of my two children only twice a week, but I still get to visit with them almost every day at our local school, Little League games or Scout meetings -- a blessing that I would not have if my ex-spouse lived far away and enrolled them in a school or club that's many miles from my own home.

Q. I have several small home repairs that need to be made to my house, but I'm an idiot when it comes to things like changing faucet washers or replacing old tile. One local handyman I contacted would charge $35 per hour and another wanted $50 an hour, which easily could add up to more than $3,000 if I hired either one to do all the work. Can you recommend a good book or Internet site that would help me learn do the work myself?

A. Several good books that explain how to make simple repairs can be found at major bookstores and big home-improvement centers, such as Home Depot and Lowe's.

Many Internet sites also provide information about do-it-yourself projects. My favorite site is www.askthebuilder.com, which is operated by construction expert Tim Carter. It has a free database that provides step-by-step instructions for hundreds of home-repair jobs, and a terrific search feature that allows you to quickly locate the specific information you might need for repairs.

Q. We purchased our first home last summer. We filed our income-tax return almost three months ago and expect to get a $2,457 refund check from the Internal Revenue Service, thanks to all the deductions we were able to take for mortgage-interest payments, property taxes, etc. The check hasn't arrived yet. How can we determine the status of our refund?

A. The fastest and easiest way is to visit the IRS's Web site, www.irs.gov, and click the "Where's My Refund?" link. You should get an answer in a matter of seconds.

An alternative would be to call the agency's toll-free service line, (800) 829-4477, but you might have to stay on the phone for several minutes.

Whether you use the Internet or the phone to check the status of the refund, you'll need to have a copy of your return nearby to answer a few security-related questions first. There should be no charge for your inquiry.

© 2008, Cowles Syndicate Inc.