Pastor chronicles parenthood, spiritual journey in book

Elliott and Angie Anderson started thinking about having kids a few years into their marriage but weren't terribly concerned about it.

After all, they had a different kind of family then.

Elliott was the resident director of Wilson Hall at Judson College, and they were living in the dorm.

"So it was me, Angie and 145 guys," Elliott says.

"Angie was the queen mother."

Those were busy years.

Angie taught first grade in Carpentersville, and Elliott was a family crisis therapist, psychology instructor and home business owner on top of his work at the dorm.

There was hardly time for children anyway, but they kept trying for a pregnancy that just wasn't happening.

"Looking back now, I think I was filling up some of the sadness," Elliott said.

"The sadness of it didn't really hit me until we had another devastating experience in life, and I think that's the way it works sometimes."

Angie's best friend, Kami, was diagnosed with brain cancer -- two different kinds of tumors.

Angie took a leave of absence from work, Elliott cut back on his work, and they took care of their friend.

Kami died in 1996.

But though all their extra attention was focused on her, the Andersons discovered a strange thing.

"As the diagnosis hit and her death was coming," Elliott said, "the infertility pain got more severe."

Ever the counselor, he said that's common.

"When we grieve one thing, we often end up grieving other things. I think God uses that to help us. It forces us into a true state of grieving."

Which, he said, is good and necessary for cleansing.

After Kami's death, Elliott and Angie started "the doctor stuff," he said.

Tests always showed the same thing -- Angie was healthy.

Elliott was healthy.

There was no specific reason they couldn't make a baby.

As Christians, they trusted God for his plan, but the wait still was excruciating.

"As a counselor and leader, I really was trying to use that to grow," Elliott said.

By this time he was head of student development at Judson.

"My staff would keep getting pregnant, and it was very hard, but I'd celebrate with them and then I'd cry."

Finally, in the summer of 1998, Elliott started looking into adoption behind Angie's back -- not standard operating procedure for their marriage, he said, but he was nervous about what she would think.

He chose an agency he respected from his counseling work and made an appointment, then took his wife to her favorite Chinese restaurant to talk.

"She cried softly and accepted it," he said.

"I've talked to other couples, now that I've become a poster boy for infertility and adoption.

"There tends to be those watershed moments where it goes from being a concession to a choice, and that's a huge part of adoption."

Elliott said he was kidding around after dinner and grandly suggested the fortune cookies would have a message for them.

When he opened one, he was dumbfounded.

"You will be successful in life at whatever you choose to adopt," it read.

"I freaked out" he said.

"We were laughing hysterically. I thought, 'Wow, did God just confirm this that strongly through a fortune cookie?'"

The next steps were the paperwork, the home study, the hoops that all adoptions require of hopeful parents.

Intrusive and grueling -- but valuable, Elliott said.

Eventually, the Andersons were elated to be chosen by a young woman to parent her identical twin boys.

After they were born on June 17, 2000 -- Elliott and Angie's 11th wedding anniversary -- the birth mother decided to keep the babies, and the Andersons experienced the deep pain of seeing the adoption fall through.

But only for 12 very long days.

The mother had a change of heart and offered her twins again, and Elliott and Angie became parents to Eliah and Jacob.

"After all that time, bang, within a couple hours it's just done," Elliott said.

And six weeks later, Angie was pregnant.

Alivia Kami was premature in March 2001 and was delivered by emergency C-section.

She's fine, though.

"She truly has Kami's spirit," Elliott said.

"She's just a walking, evangelistic light."

In July 2002, Paige was delivered after a scheduled C-section.

"So after nine years of nothing, and all those issues, we ended up with four babies in two years and 14 days," Elliott said.

Just think of the diapers.

The garbage cans were filling so fast that "I was giving the garbage guys pop and candy when I could because I felt sorry for them," Elliott said.

Pastor Elliott Anderson has chronicled his and his wife's journey through infertility and adoption in a book, "Answers in Abundance: A Miraculous Adoption Journey as Told from a Father's Heart."

Published in 2007, the book also tells how the years of trial and waiting on God led him to become a pastor.

Now senior pastor at Elgin Evangelical Free Church, he said he has a new dependence on God and deeper faith in his sovereignty and timing.

And he and Angie are open to adopting again.

In fact, he said his goal is for Elgin Evangelical Free to become one of the few churches in America that offer free adoptions.

Some churches are doing it, he said, and he wants to find out how.

"Just think of the joy we could bring this community."