How to respond to PDAs

Love isn't always a beautiful thing. Sometimes, it's a stomach-churning display of unpleasantness that incites bawdy shouts of "Get a room!"

You're at the movies and a couple sits down in front of you. The woman rests her head on the man's shoulder, he kisses her hair, and they hold hands. Sweet. Niceties soon disappear and halfway through the movie they are more interested in picking the leftovers out of one another's back molars than in the film's outcome.

We all know it; we've all witnessed it - the public display of affection. And maybe we've even participated in it. We all have it in us - a little bit of thrill seeking, or maybe a touch of exhibitionism - whatever you want to call it, it's there.

So, what exactly constitutes a PDA?

Wikipedia defines PDA as: "the physical demonstration of affection for another person while in the view of others." That's simple enough, right?

Public displays can range anywhere from a touch of hands to a touch of somewhere else. So maybe what one should be asking is where does the boundary of public etiquette lie in this matter?

It'd be nice to say that if it makes someone else uncomfortable, then it's too much - but we just can't make that blanket statement. Individual and collective opinions can vary significantly due to diverse individual moral beliefs and personal boundaries. But there are some general guidelines that you can hold yourself to just to make sure your kiss doesn't miff.

Holding hands is a no-brainer. I mean, parents hold their children's hands in order to keep them safe. Holding hands doesn't offend anyone as far as I know and is acceptable virtually anywhere in our society. Sometimes it can be easier to stick together in public if you're holding hands. How many times have you lost track of someone after turning around to check out a window display at holiday time?

Putting your arm around your partner's shoulder is another act of affection that shouldn't raise any eyebrows. Whether in a theater or snuggling into a booth at a restaurant, a simple draped arm is harmless. (Just watch what you do with that unoccupied hand!)

K-I-S-S-I-N-G. Personally, I think it's cute to see a couple steal a kiss when they think nobody is looking - the act holds a childlike and innocent quality. A small kiss is perfectly acceptable for the public arena. However, constantly stopping to lock lips in mini-make-out sessions is considered in bad taste.

In more tolerant venues, such as some bars and nightclubs, public displays of extreme affection might be in full view.Where is the line of decency crossed? To a point (the point where it becomes illegal) that's in the eye of the beholder. But what can you do about it? A few options:

Ignore it: If you witness a couple sharing a quick kiss or hug, there is nothing to do because there is nothing wrong. Even if the action progresses beyond that point, one reasonable - and safe - reaction is to leave the premises.

Turn around: If the couple's PDA consists of long passionate kissing, ogling or clearing your throat might do the trick. Or it might prompt that tension-escalating retort, "What are you lookin' at?" Might be good to have an answer.

Tell the couple to get a room: If the PDA has passed the kissing and groping phase, their behavior is inappropriate in public. We figure if you're going to confront them, you probably have kids in tow, so your suggestions have to be as aboveboard as you wish the loving couple's actions were. At your own risk, remind the pair that this is not the place for such a display, but be prepared to face the consequences of your confronting actions. Since the couple doesn't blink about such a public display, they might not think twice about telling you to mind your own business (in not such graceful language). Reminding the couple quietly instead of from across the room might assist in diffusing tensions.

Notify management/security: If you're grossed out to see that a couple is just shy of full-blown lovemaking, notify management or security. Technically, it's their job to take care of these types of situations.