Fast food? Parents? First dates deserve better than this!

The new bistro in the village or wine bar one suburb over - whatever your date destination, it should be one that leaves an impression, a positive one. Just as there are many places where you can take your date, there are many places that you can't - or at least shouldn't - if you ever want to see the person again.

After you've been dating a while and you've let your SO see all your flaws, then you can relax a little. But as a relationship is budding, here's what you should avoid:

A family function

Unless you've been dating someone for a while, family functions should be off-limits. Let's face the facts; these days there is no such thing as a family that isn't dysfunctional.

Inevitably your date will discover your great uncle in the basement shadow boxing kangaroos, or that cousin you thought wasn't coming will be there - with all his racial epitaphs in tow. Even if you avoid that motley bunch of extended family, there is no way to avoid grandma and the inescapable "when are you going to get married" enquiry.

So it goes without saying that you never bring dates to family functions - weddings, reunions, baptisms, bat mitzvahs and especially funerals, are out.

Your parents' house for dinner

You may have the hippest parents in the world; intelligent, hospitable and interesting - but can you think of an odder setting for a date?

Bringing your date to your parents' house is just asking for trouble; your mom whipping out the pictures of you in the bubble bath, and your date sizing up the parents, wondering if the pot belly and hairy ears will be yours a couple of decades from now. It just isn't a good combination.

Heavy metal concert

Take it from Katie Jordan of Chicago; this is just a big no-no.

"After a short drive to a downtown sports arena I learned that I was to be his guest of honor at a Pantera/Slayer concert - that's right, my romantic date turned out to be a death metal concert! I was having a great time counting mullets and beards longer than my hair when all of the sudden the lights went off and the crowd went nuts - about 1,000 people at the front of the floor section turned around and rushed the back of the floor section. I was horrified. I ran so fast out of the building - that's right, not just the concert - the building! I even left my flip-flops behind - never to be seen again!"

Fast-food establishments

We get it, you're trying to save a buck in this tight and uncertain economy, but nothing says, "Hi, I am cheap" like a fast-food restaurant.

Just try having to repeat your order (twice), ask the kids next to you to please stop throwing french fries and dining on a catsup-encrusted Formica table (gum-coated on the underside) - all while trying to get romantic? You don't have to spend a lot on the dinner bill, but try to find some place unique, rather than a grease mill.

Star Trek convention

Any convention that involves adults dressing up like TV characters from another planet and speaking fully developed languages that do not technically exist. - Do I even have to say anything?

Sporting events

Any athletic event involving a team you care about is off-limits.

Your team might lose, which will kill the mood of the date, and you'll never see the person again because you'll always associate them with your team losing. Or if you pout like a jerk or start throwing stuff when you lose your temper as your team loses the game. Or what if the drunken guy four rows back starts yelling lewd comments about your date? You barely know this girl, are you going to let it come to blows? I thought not.

Worse - what if your date roots for the opposing team and wears that jersey in the section you're in all season? Good luck trying to explain that one at the next home game.

Shooting range

In a recent GQ article, Shia LaBeouf, referring to sport shooting, explained, "Believe it or not, it's a good date. I bring girls up here sometimes; it's kind of - it's very invigorating for them."

Now before you go and get your hopes up, realize one thing: You're not Shia LeBeouf.

There is only one conclusion - regardless of what plausible explanation you give about being a champion shooter - that anyone will draw from this date, and it is not a good one.

Movie night at home

I bet you thought I was going to say don't be cheap and spring for tickets to an actual theater. But I'm not. I'm going to give you advice on how to pull off a stay-at-home date - next week.

Dates can be harrowing events in the best of venues, so don't make it harder on either of you than it has to be. There are great places to take a date that'll make you look good, won't cost you too much, will give you time to talk, and provide an entertaining distraction.