'Couples' a marriage of the inane and the trite
Hollywood must really have it in for Buffalo Grove.
How else to explain why the Northwest suburb has been used as the setting for two inane and intelligence-abusing romantic comedies so far in 2009?
The pathetically trite and cliched "I Love You Beth Cooper," based on Buffalo Grove High School grad Larry Doyle's comic novel, changed the name to Buffalo Glen, which at least spared the community direct embarrassment.
Now comes "Couples Retreat," a promising comedy that utterly squanders its opportunity to say something meaningful and truthful about marriage and commitment.
Instead, it settles for being one giant product placement for Guitar Hero video games and Applebee's restaurants.
Although partially shot in Buffalo Grove earlier this year, "Couples Retreat" never identifies the village. However, Jon Favreau's high school coach, Joey, wears a Buffalo Grove shirt in an early scene. (Later, Jason Bateman wears a Northwestern University shirt.)
Panachelessly directed by Peter Billingsley (yes, the guy who played little Ralphie in Bob Clark's classic comedy "A Christmas Story"), "Couples Retreat" introduces us to four unhappy couples whom no emotionally well-adjusted person would want to spend time with, let alone pay admission to watch.
Jason (Bateman, recycling his patented coolly neurotic character), an obsessive-compulsive PowerPoint addict, and his brittle wife Cynthia (Kristen Bell), are on the verge of divorce because they can't conceive. In a last-ditch effort to save their marriage, they sign up for a week of relaxation and skill-building exercises at Eden, a posh tropical resort that caters to both couples (Eden West) and singles (Eden East).
Fortunately, Eden offers discount deals to parties of four couples. So, Jason drags his friends along to qualify for a group rate.
Dave (executive producer and co-writer Vince Vaughn, again recycling his patented motormouthed doofus character) sells video games. He and his wife Ronnie (Malin Akerman) have a workable, but funless marriage.
They go off to the tropical paradise with Jason, Cynthia, womanizing Coach Joey (Favreau) and his frosty wife Lucy (Kristin Davis), along with recently divorced Shane (Faizon Love) and his obnoxious, 20-year-old girlfriend of two weeks, Trudy (Kali Hawk).
Once settled into the isolated land of Eden, the quartet of couples runs into a mine field of never-ending sight gags involving a virtually naked yoga instructor (Carlos Ponce) freely committing inappropriate acts with both gals and guys, under the supervision of the head touchy-feelie guru Marcel (Jean Reno).
The couples think their relationships are OK, until a battery of questions from the Eden staff members (among them a wasted Ken Jeong from "The Hangover") reveal the insecure, dissatisfied married people under the facades.
"Couples Retreat" marks Billingsley's directorial debut, and it's not an auspicious one.
He cannot decide if this screenplay (clumsily written by Vaughn, Favreau and Dana Fox) should be a satire of sex resorts (like Garry Marshall's bungled 1994 comedy "Exit to Eden") or a sweet affirmation of true love hiding under the laughs.
The MPAA originally hit "Couples Retreat" with an R rating that was changed to PG-13 on appeal without a single edit. So, its sexual content is far too graphic for kids, yet too sanitized for adults, unlike the infinitely funnier, smarter and bolder tropical island rom-com "Forgetting Sarah Marshall."
There is one bright element here.
Erstwhile "Sex and the City" star Davis, the most mannered and least talented actress working in Hollywood today, puts the brakes on her emotional affectations enough to actually improve.
Now, she's only one of the most mannered and least talented actresses working in Hollywood today.
"Couples Retreat"
Rating: 1½ stars
Starring: Vince Vaughn, Malin Akerman, Jon Favreau, Kristen Davis, Jean Reno
Directed by: Peter Billingsley
Other: A Universal Pictures release. Rated PG-13 (language, sexual situations). 114 minutes.