Mothers, preteen girls invited to interactive evening

Today's girls are asking the same questions their moms were asking when they were girls. Am I beautiful? Am I loved? Do I have worth?

A national ministry tour making a stop in Elgin next week seeks to address these questions in a fun and memorable way for moms and their preteen daughters - with giant balloon sculptures, confetti cannons and lots of interaction.

The Secret Keeper Girl Tour, promoted as "a practical modesty, fashion and beauty truth event" for 8- to 12-year-olds and their moms, will be on Thursday, March 18, at the Hemmens Cultural Center, 45 Symphony Way. The two-hour show begins at 6:30 p.m.

There's an emphasis on modest attire and for good reason, says Suzy Weibel, one of the tour's speakers and the mother of two teenage girls.

"We're definitely at a time in our culture right now where we're saying skin is no big deal," Weibel said. "It's like the frog in the kettle. It takes a lot more to upset us now than it used to."

But many families, particularly among Christians, are finding they don't want to settle for what has become the cultural norm. They petition the fashion industry for higher necklines, scour stores for lower hemlines, even start their own businesses to sell modest clothing when they can't find it.

Dan Reed, who taught elementary school for nearly 40 years, mostly in Elgin Area School District U-46, said it was what he saw in the classroom - "little girls pressured to dress like big girls" - that inspired him to bring the tour to Elgin.

"I just see a need for children to have standards," said Reed, now children's pastor at Elgin's First Baptist Church. "In our society, we tend to make little girls grow up too fast."

The Secret Keeper Girl Tour was founded by best-selling author Dannah Gresh, who with her husband, Bob, also developed a ministry called Pure Freedom to promote sexual purity for teens. SKG is for the younger crowd.

"She realized that catching kids before they were teenagers was important," Reed said. "The attitudes were formed before they were teenagers."

But the tour takes aim at more than what not to wear. A Secret Keeper Girl, Weibel said, "is a girl who chooses her friends wisely - and we talk about peer pressure - who looks to the Bible for truth about beauty instead of magazine covers, who enjoys fashion and shopping but embraces modesty, and most importantly, she is a masterpiece created by God."

"It was a great mother-daughter bonding event," said Sandy Gum of Elgin, who took two daughters to the same program last year in Rolling Meadows. "It certainly broke the ice for them to be able to talk about these things with Mom. I think it broke the ice to talk about other things, too."

"It was really fun, and it wasn't like they were sitting there telling you (that) you have to dress like this," said Alexa Gum, 14. "They were encouraging it; they weren't forcing it."

Her sister, Lauren, 12, also found the activities entertaining and enjoyed all the camaraderie. "It was nice, because they interacted with everyone, and you learned a lot," she said.

The high-energy seminar is designed to stir up fun and laughter along with insight and inspiration.

"There's lots of music, and the tone of the evening changes very frequently," Weibel said. A fashion show begins with styles from the '60s, '70s, and '80s, allowing girls the chance to gasp and ask the moms, "Did you really wear that?"

Some of the girls themselves will be invited on stage to model for their peers, giving ideas of how to dress modestly but fashionably using layers and accessories. That portion of the show is called "Truth or Bare."

The audience can expect stories, games and dance to liven up the lesson. Moms will be invited to join in, too.

"A lot of moms come in thinking it's like spiritual night at Chuck E. Cheese and my daughter's going to have a lot of fun and I'm going to watch her," Weibel said. On the contrary, Secret Keeper Girl seeks to create opportunities for intimate dialogue between moms and tweens.

"There are a lot of girls and moms who break down right around the age of 13, and communication is lost," Weibel said. "We want to put mom and daughter on the same team as they enter the teen years."

Although the event is church-sponsored and Bible-based, Weibel estimates that "a good quarter of any audience is people who aren't necessarily affiliated with any church."

"The message reaches beyond ethnicity and racial boundaries and denominational boundaries," Reed agreed, adding that the event is being promoted by community organizations as well as area churches and parochial schools.

Admission is $12 in advance by calling iTickets at (800) 965-9324 or call First Baptist Church at (847) 695-8700.

Tickets are $15 at the door; group rates are also available. For more information, call (847) 695-8700 or visit SecretKeeperGirl.com.