The connection and disconnection of social media and teens
Where are my friends? What are they doing now?
Two simple questions that many of us pondered daily growing up.
Today, a swipe through Instagram or Snapchat will answer those questions, and much more.
In this exploding era of social media, students today can rate their acceptance by how “liked” their photos are compared to their peers, as well as see what everyone else is doing at any given moment of the day.
At least it appears that way.
Social media has created a simultaneous connection and disconnection between people. Students can be hundreds of miles away from each other engaging in a Snapstreak (the newest moniker for the continual, nonstop sending of images, videos, and texts to friends), or they can be video chatting grandparents who live in another country.
This instant connection is part of the beauty of social media.
At the same time, a disconnection is appearing that seems to be taking teens by surprise. There is a cultural pressure for teens, especially girls, to present their best lives online. Photos are filtered and methodically staged to suggest that the poster is living a carefree, awesome life — full of friends and void of anything unsettling or disruptive.
This pressure to curate life online has given rise to things like Finstagram, or “finsta” for short, a fake Instagram account.
The accounts are private, with usually hard to identify usernames, in which a teen shares the gritty and unfiltered realities of life with a circle of friends who share the same in return.
It's mainly used to free adolescents from the confines of a traditional account, making them feel better posting ridiculous memes, ugly selfies, and other unfiltered topics designed to display their true thoughts without having parents or teachers see them. These accounts can quickly cause problems when one user shares another user's content with peers outside their circle.
Teens are becoming disconnected with the emotional impact of their behavior, particularly when that behavior happens online.
If someone says something cruel and hurtful to your face, our brain instantly takes in the feedback of the negative impact words can cause. If they say that same cruel and hurtful comment online, we become shielded from the impact of actions.
It is strongly recommended that parents regularly engage their kids of all ages in discussions about their digital media consumption.
Start at a young age and ask about the games or apps they like the most. Follow their Instagram, Twitter and Tumblr accounts and ask thoughtful questions about what is being posted.
From ages 12-25 the prefrontal cortex of the brain in undergoing a major renovation, which means teens don't naturally see the long-term consequences of their behavior.
Engaging in conversation helps teens develop the brain space to think through the choices they are making online and offline.
The goal of these discussions is to help ground your teen in the real world rather than letting them get lost in the curated world of social media.
Consider signing up for the www.commonsensemedia.org newsletter for regular updates on apps teens are gravitating toward and tips for how to talk with them about it.
• Mandy Burbank is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker with Amita Health. She is a therapist and clinical navigator for violence prevention services. Amita Health is comprised of nine acute and specialty care hospitals, including Amita Health Alexian Brothers Women and Children's Hospital Hoffman Estates. Children's health is a continuing series. This week's article is courtesy of Amita Health Alexian Brothers Women and Children's Hospital Hoffman Estates. For more information, visit amitahealth.org.