How to support healthy mental and emotional development in your child

Children, teens and their families are facing a lot of stress and challenges to mental wellness. Is it possible to prevent mental health problems and help kids be resilient during tough times?

The answer is yes. Parents and caregivers have powerful tools to help their children thrive, no matter what life throws their way. Positive experiences and safe, stable relationships help children develop skills they need to manage their emotions, solve problems and develop close connections with others. The process of gaining these critical skills is called healthy mental and emotional development.

Here are some tips on how families can help:

• Create predictable and structured routines to give children a sense of stability and connection.

• Have meals together. Especially with older kids, family meals are a great time to check in with each other. They may not always be possible with busy schedules but plan them when you can.

• Establish a regular bedtime ritual. For young children, a bedtime routine might include a bath, brushing teeth and reading a book together before tuck-in. Bonus: prioritizing sleep makes it easier to deal with everyday pressures.

• Encourage a homework routine. Planning when and where to work on schoolwork are time management skills that ease stress. It also helps kids find time to practice self-care and more time to connect with family and friends.

• Create a chores routine. Having age-appropriate chores promotes a sense of responsibility, belonging and contribution to the family. Kids gain confidence in completing tasks, which builds self-esteem.

• Plan time for play, which lets children explore emotions even before they have the words to express themselves. It also gives them a sense of control in their world. For older kids and teens, planning special family fun time strengthen relationships. You can dedicate 10-15 minutes two to three times a week to play with younger kids. Name this special time after the child, like “Roberto’s Time.”

• Set rules for one-on-one time. Let your child choose the activity. Put away phones. Make the time unstructured with toys and activities that can promote cooperative play and problem-solving.

• Focus on fun. The goal is to share joy and connect. Play regularly — not just as a reward for good behavior. Bonds you build in these moments lay ground for healthy relationships in life.

• Schedule time for family fun. Mark game nights or other family activities on your calendar so that everyone can look forward to relaxing together.

It’s also important to incorporate positive discipline strategies help teach children and teens to manage their behavior in a healthy way.

• Set limits and consequences. Have clear and consistent rules. Describe these rules in age-appropriate terms that your child or teen can follow. Calmly explain consequences if they aren't followed.

• Model behavior you want your child to show. When you feel frustrated, try to respond calmly. Instead of saying, “You are driving me crazy,” for example, express your actual feelings: “I’m really frustrated right now.” This teaches kids to say what they feel instead of critical or hurtful statements.

• Try “sportscasting.” Provide a “play by play” of what you see your child doing. Speak in a neutral or positive tone. This conveys to the child: “I see you, I hear you and I delight in you.”

• You can also point out positive behavior. Children and teens need to know when they do something wrong — and when they do something good. Praise success and good tries and be specific. (“Wow, I love how you shared your favorite toy with your friend!” or, “I like how you cleaned up the kitchen after dinner — it’s so helpful when you do that.”)

Other ways parents can support their children’s healthy mental and emotional development include allowing children to express their thoughts and feelings and making time to listen in a supportive and nonjudgmental environment.

Stay in touch with teachers, school counselors and other adults in your child’s life and work together to address any concerns. Always talk with your child’s pediatrician if you believe they may need more support.

• Children’s health is a continuing series; this week’s column was provided by the American Academy of Pediatrics. For more information, go to HealthyChildren.org. Dr. Joan Jeung is a pediatrician with special training in developmental and behavioral pediatric medicine as well as psychopharmacology.