How to help when a loved one is recovering from a heart attack

Few things are as frightening as a heart attack, not just for the person experiencing it but for family members. With prompt and proper treatment between 90% and 95% of hospitalized heart attack patients (let’s not call them victims) survive and return home.

A heart attack, technically a myocardial infarction, occurs when a blockage keeps oxygen-rich blood from getting to the heart. (Cardiac arrest, when the heart stops beating entirely, is completely different — and perhaps a topic for another day.)

Heart attack patients typically spend between two and five days in the hospital. For those who receive angioplasty or stents to keep the arteries open, the stay is usually shorter. If coronary bypass surgery is required, expect your loved one to be in the hospital for five to seven days. Hopefully, there are no complications (like blood clots) that keep them there longer.

When your loved one is ready to continue their recovery at home, you may wonder what will change, how to best support their recovery, and how you should behave around them. Based on my years of experience as a critical care nurse and patient advocate, here are five things to do — and not do.

1. Just listen.

Heart attack patients often experience something known as the “cardiac blues,” which can encompass a range of emotions, including sadness, anger, anxiety, confusion and loneliness. While distressing, these feelings usually abate with time.

It’s important for you to hear what your loved one is saying and feeling without passing judgment or giving advice, such as, “You’d feel better if you’d just take a walk.”

2. But don’t walk on eggshells.

On the other hand, you shouldn’t make your loved one feel fragile, which can only make them feel more anxious than they already do. Do some of the things you’ve always done, such as watching a favorite TV show or movie. While you don’t want them going up and down stairs to help with the laundry as they’ve always done, you can sit together and fold clothes while you chat.

3. Get their OK to come with you to follow-up visits.

As a spouse, partner or family member, you have a role to play on your loved one’s care team. Part of this role is accompanying them to doctor visits so you can listen, take notes and ask questions.

Ensure that their doctors know that they have permission to discuss medical information with you so you can be fully informed about what’s going on or what needs to happen next.

Spouses are generally assumed to be the patient ‘s representative in hospital settings, but if you are not married, it’s wise to ask your loved one to complete a HIPAA authorization so your status as the patient representative is crystal clear. This also comes in handy if a situation arises where you have to advocate for them.

4. Know the right questions to ask.

The cardiologist will likely answer all of these questions, but it’s important to understand and jot down the responses, particularly if the doctor seems rushed.

In addition to instructions about dietary changes and cardiac rehabilitation, ask the following:

• What exercise is OK to do and what should not be done during recovery from a heart attack?

• How will their heart condition be monitored on an ongoing basis (echocardiograms, stress tests, etc.)?

• What are the chances of another heart attack after having one?

• What symptoms should we watch for to indicate another heart attack?

• How long before your loved one can return to their job?

5. Help them follow doctor’s orders.

Your loved one will likely come home with some new medications, dietary modifications and an appointment for cardiac rehabilitation. Cardiac rehab is a critical component of their recovery. Typically, a heart attack patient can’t drive for a few weeks following their hospital stay, so make yourself available as a chauffeur.

A heart attack is sometimes a bucket of cold water telling the patient that they have to make some lifestyle changes to ensure their heart gets healthy and stays healthy. Encourage your loved one to follow the doctor’s recommendations, and maybe try some new recipes.

But don’t nag them. Instead, tell them you need for them to comply with the doctor’s recommendations because you love them and you want them to stick around as long as possible. Otherwise, your heart may break.

• Teri (Dreher) Frykenberg is a board-certified patient advocate. A critical care registered nurse for 30+ years, she is founder of NShore Patient Advocates (www.NorthShoreRN.com). Her book, “How to Be a Healthcare Advocate for Yourself & Your Loved Ones,” is available on Amazon. She is offering a free phone consultation to Daily Herald readers; email her at teri@northshorern.com.