Stay in touch: It’s good for you

“I will not play tug o’ war. I’d rather play hug o’war, where everyone hugs instead of tugs.”

— Shel Silverstein

The writer and poet Shel Silverstein really knew how to distill an idea into its simplest form, expressing the importance of touch in less than 20 words. From the moment our mothers held us at birth, we were wired to have a positive reaction to touch.

Even as we grow up, touch remains a critical component of our social and emotional growth. One study found that students are three times more likely to speak up in class after their teacher pats them in a friendly manner.

Biology is behind this.

Physical touch increases levels of dopamine and serotonin, two neurotransmitters that help regulate your mood and relieve stress and anxiety. The release of the hormone oxytocin is another benefit of physical touch, helping humans form emotional connections to one another and fostering a sense of well-being and happiness.

The COVID-19 pandemic let us see what happens when people lack the opportunity for touch. A 2023 study published in the International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health found that 83% of participants surveyed reported a longing for touch, which was subsequently associated with a lower physical, psychological and social quality of life.

But touch is not a positive for some people — in fact, it can be traumatic. And what can you do if you or a loved one is experiencing isolation and doesn’t have many opportunities to be touched by another human being?

Fear or dislike of being touched can have a number of sources. Haphephobia is an anxiety disorder that causes people to have an intense fear of being touched, even by family and friends. Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) may bring memories of trauma, which can increase fear of touch. Research also suggests that people who have been abused as children can be more averse to touch and closeness.

There’s a word for this too: Touch starvation. You wouldn’t think lack of touch can lead to health problems, but it can, according to researchers.

When you don’t get enough physical touch, you can become stressed, anxious or depressed. As a response to stress, the hormone cortisol can cause increased heart rate, blood pressure, muscle tension and breathing. All of this can hurt the immune and digestive systems. Other chronic conditions, including diabetes and asthma, may worsen as well.

Here are some strategies to deal with touch starvation, whether it’s something that you experience internally or something that’s imposed on you from the outside.

Make other types of connections

While physical touch has physical benefits, connecting with others via video chats can provide psychological benefits to those who lack the desire or opportunity for touch. When you FaceTime or Zoom with someone else, you make eye contact and see their physical reactions to you. This can help overcome the sense of touch starvation and loneliness.

Cuddle with a pet

OK, they’re not human and they’re not a source of stimulating conversation, but Fluffy or Fido can be a source of comforting touch. This is why we see long-term care facilities introducing animals into their communities, so the residents can connect more readily with another living creature.

Sing and dance around the room

How does that saying go? “Dance like nobody is watching?” Letting yourself go by belting out a tune in the shower or dancing around the living room can improve oxytocin levels in the absence of touch.

Use your other senses

You probably have other senses available to you: sight, smell, taste, hearing. Try aromatherapy, or savoring the dinner you’re eating. A soundscape lulling you to sleep can also help you overcome lack of touch.

Touch grass

On the internet, telling someone to “touch grass” is telling them to get back to reality, and could even be an insult to someone who’s spending too much time online. But there is therapeutic power in nature, and the feel of natural grass can have a positive psychological and physical effect, according to research.

We have more than 5 million nerve endings in our skin. Find ways to tap the power of touch even if it seems elusive.

• Teri (Dreher) Frykenberg is a board-certified patient advocate. A critical care registered nurse for 30+ years, she is founder of NShore Patient Advocates (www.NorthShoreRN.com). Her book, “How to Be a Healthcare Advocate for Yourself & Your Loved Ones,” is available on Amazon. She is offering a free phone consultation to Daily Herald readers; email her at teri@northshorern.com.