How to use ‘The Five Love Languages’ to do good in the workplace

I’ve been authoring business articles for decades, but this one is a first.

I’m writing from bed, recovering from a nasty case of influenza A. I guess there’s a first time for everything, but not all firsts are good. At least I’m fortunate to have work that I can do from the comfort of home. And although I wouldn’t wish this on anyone, it has given me some downtime to reflect.

A quote that came to mind as my fever was spiking is attributed to John Wesley, the English theologian and founder of the Methodist Church. Despite debate about exactly what he said and when he said it, the now famous quote goes something like this:

“Do all the good you can, in all the ways you can, to all the souls you can, in every place you can, every time you can, with all the zeal you can, as long as you ever can.”

This call to action sets a high bar but what I like is that it allows each individual to use their unique skills, talents, strengths, and interests to do good in the ways and the places they can. There’s no one size fits all. With an unlimited number of ways to do good in the world, I’ll narrow my scope to some of the ways it’s most meaningful in the workplace.

The framework and concepts of “The Five Love Languages” by Dr. Gary Chapman can serve as a helpful guide. Briefly, everyone has ways that they prefer showing and receiving love in personal relationships and in the workplace. Preferences are not age or gender specific, but they can change over time. Here are the five languages and some examples of how to use them in the workplace to do good.

• Words of affirmation. Send someone a personal thank-you note or give them a shoutout at a team meeting. Be specific with your praise and gratitude to boost the impact.

• Acts of service. Take a project off someone’s plate when they’re carrying a heavy load or share a trick that’s helped you do your job more effectively. Offering some of your valuable time to work together will result in a morale boost for both parties.

• Receiving gifts. Give someone an extra day off after working long hours on a project or send a team member a gift card on their work anniversary. Match the gift to the person’s taste when possible; not everyone likes flowers or Starbucks.

• Quality time. Spend time with your colleagues at lunch either in the office or at a restaurant. On occasion, take a day away from regular duties by volunteering with your team at a local charity. Team outings can be a wonderful way for people to get to know each other in a less formal environment.

• Physical touch. Stick with light pats on the back, high fives, and fist bumps unless both you and your team members are open to handshakes or hugs.

Remember that your personal “love language” might not be the same as that of your employees or coworkers. Take time to learn more about others in your workplace so you can customize your approach to match their preferences. It’s as easy as asking people during onboarding, feedback sessions, or performance reviews how they like to be recognized for a job well done

Expressing gratitude in the workplace is an excellent way to take Wesley’s advice. There are so many simple, yet powerful, ways to do good right in our own workplaces. The rewards are worth your effort.

• Mary Lynn Fayoumi is president and CEO of HR Source in Downers Grove.