Grief & healing: Pondering the possibilities after the death of a pet

I have never personally had to cope with the death of a pet. But most pet owners surely have.

I have two sweet kitties who are now 12, and will turn 13 on Sept. 1. They were born about two weeks after my husband, Baheej, died. I’ve had them since they were 3.5 months old.

I got them from a farmyard barn about 40 minutes west of where I live. Their mother had disappeared while out hunting. My kitties were being fed at the farmhouse, so they were socialized to people. They are sisters, litter mates.

One is a calico, with short hair, white chest and face with brown and tan patches on her head and back. Her name is Coffee Cat. The other is a black-and-white long hair, named Sheba. Most black-and-whites are males, but Sheba is a girl.

They were weaned when their mother went missing, but quite young, so they clung to each other, slept together and were best friends. I took both of them so they could stay together.

I grew up with my sister, Mary’s, cat. My sister and mother took care of him. His name was Sheba, too. A boy named Sheba.

When I got my kitties, I didn’t know much about how to raise cats, but I soon discovered there are many, many books raising and caring for cats, and I became quite expert at it. I’ve raised them as strictly indoor cats. They’ve turned out to be very affectionate and smart.

The average life span of an indoor cat ranges up to 18 years, with some into their early to mid-20s. That’s my plan and they are both in very good health. Cats with nutritional food, love, safety and security can live a long time.

There are also books on communication with pets after death — very interesting and reassuring. On the personal level, both my niece and nephew have told me about experiencing communication from pets who’ve died.

The point is: I find it comforting to believe cats have a spirit life, and there is hope for communication with them in the spirit world. But in the meantime, I wish for many more happy years with my cats right here with me.

• Susan Anderson-Khleif of Sleepy Hollow has a doctorate in family sociology from Harvard, taught at Wellesley College and is a retired Motorola executive. Contact her at sakhleif@aol.com.