No one should age alone: What are some options?

The U.S. Census Bureau says that in 2023, about 28% of people 65 and older were living by themselves, or about 16 million individuals, about two-thirds of them women.

The reasons are pretty well understood: Families have fewer children these days and are more mobile — meaning families don’t necessarily stay in the same geographic area as they once did. The Census Bureau also says that, whether by choice or circumstance, many older adults do not have children. In 2018, of the 92.2 million adults ages 55 and older, 15.2 million have no biological children.

And with the baby boomers getting older by the day, we’re likely to see more older adults aging in isolation. As we age, we are often more vulnerable if we live alone. Isolation has many adverse consequences to our physical and mental health. Cognitive decline has been shown to accelerate as we age, and diseases like cardiovascular health and even cancer have been tied to social isolation.

As a private patient advocate, I’ve watched as this population of “senior orphans” keeps growing. What’s a senior to do?

Today, we’re fortunate to have more and more options for independent senior living for people who cherish their independence, but also wish to have other people and services close. Here are a few ideas for those who may be facing a situation like this.

Think ‘Golden Girls’

I loved this ’80s sitcom for a lot of reasons, not the least of which is how these four roommates (Dorothy, her mother Sophia, Rose and Blanche) supported each other, had adventures together and shared a half-gallon of ice cream at the kitchen table.

There’s a lot to be said for this kind of arrangement. Expenses are shared. Support is close by. And, as long as the roommates are compatible in temperament and lifestyle, it could be a lot of fun.

Moving in with people you don’t know well? Get background checks on everyone. If you go in this direction, it would also be wise to have HIPAA agreements among the roommates so, in case of a medical emergency, they can communicate with doctors until a family member can get there.

Naturally occurring retirement communities

Known as (NORCs), these are apartment buildings or residential areas in which people are aging in place after their kids are gone, younger families haven’t moved in and there’s an influx of older people drawn by the area’s amenities.

Orion Bell, president of a Cleveland organization that focuses on aging support, says, “In a NORC, at least 40% of residents are aged 65 and older. For a NORC to be effective, they need to be compact — about the size of an elementary school district.”

A real estate agent who is well-versed in the senior market, such as a Certified Senior Housing Professional, should be able to help you identify such communities. Find a specialist in your area at seniorsrealestateinstitute.com.

Life plan communities

Unlike NORCs, these are intentional senior communities that are growing in popularity as more and more people live well beyond retirement age.

Units can be apartments or attached housing, such as townhouses. Residents usually pay an entry fee, often after they’ve sold their home, and then a monthly maintenance fee for amenities, such as social events, fitness classes, dining options and potentially health care.

There’s a shadow on the horizon, though: Private equity firms are snapping these communities up. A recent NBC News report told how one tripled monthly maintenance fees, forcing some residents to leave. It's important to research the financial stability of the community before making a decision.

Considerations

A Certified Senior Housing Professional or other senior living specialist may have a checklist like this to help you decide your best option.

Location: Even if you find the greatest apartment or condo in the world, you’re likely to be unhappy if the location isn’t right.

Amenities: The little extras that make life more agreeable. Also, are pets allowed?

Support: If you’re sick of cooking, a community that offers meals should be considered. If medical conditions warrant frequent check-ins, assisted living might be the right choice.

Finances: You may have to pay cash up front in the form of security deposits or move-in fees. If there’s a contract or lease, be sure to find out how easy it is to get out of it should you find yourself unhappy or unable to continue living there.

Humans are designed to need each other. Wherever you live, stay in touch with neighbors, join a club or faith community or work part-time to stay connected.

• Teri (Dreher) Frykenberg, a registered nurse, board-certified patient advocate, is the founder of www.NurseAdvocateEntrepreneur.com, which trains medical professionals to become successful private patient advocates. She is the author of “How to Be a Healthcare Advocate for Yourself & Your Loved Ones,” available on Amazon. Frykenberg offers a free phone consultation to readers. Contact her at Teri@NurseAdvocateEntrepreneur.com.