Don't worry, parents, imaginary friends actually good for kids

He was talkative and fun to be around, so it was no surprise that the outgoing 3-year-old was surrounded by a bunch of friends. On the first day of class, he marched into his preschool room with a few of these companions and proceeded to introduce them to his new teacher.

Seeing only the boy and his mother, his wise teacher caught on right away. She recognized that the little student had a healthy, active imagination and was finding comfort in his collection of imaginary friends.

Child health experts agree that imaginary friends are a common feature of early childhood and can be a perfectly normal part of the growing-up process. As with many behaviors, imaginary friendships are fine as long as they don't interfere with "real life" by isolating the child from his or her peers and their activities.

Researcher Marjorie Taylor, Ph.D., and her colleagues at the University of Oregon's Department of Psychology found that 28 percent of 3- to 4-year-olds - girls more than boys - experience imaginary friendships.

Many observers believe this type of imaginary play is limited to the preschool years. That's why when the Oregon researchers came back to interview the same group of children at ages 6 and 7, they were intrigued to discover that 31 percent - boys now equaling girls - were still using their imaginations, creating whole new sets of make-believe buddies.

Dr. Taylor's team notes that kids with imaginary friends have no trouble separating fact from fiction. These children actually tend to be quite social, often more so than their peers, and find real pleasure in their relationships with their many friends in the "real" world.

The South Australia Children, Youth and Women's Health Service offers additional reassurance for parents unsure how to handle their child's phantom friends. These child advocates explain that imaginary companions can serve various helpful functions in a growing child's life. Imaginary friends not only keep kids company, but also allow them to test out styles of play, express feelings, practice relationships, and work out problems without being judged by their peers or well-meaning adults. Imaginary play also gives children private space and time where the individual child gets to play the role of the big boss and make all the decisions, and parents are totally out of the picture.

Health Service psychologists advise adults to stay off their children's imaginary turf. It's OK to be peripherally involved if your child requests that a seat be saved for her companion or that two water bottles be filled - one for her and one for her friend. At the same time, resist the urge to put in your own two cents and invade the imaginary world your little one has created for herself.

• Dr. Helen Minciotti is a mother of five and a pediatrician with a practice in Schaumburg. She formerly chaired the Department of Pediatrics at Northwest Community Hospital in Arlington Heights.