Changing habits: If you're not Mr. or Mrs. Clean, accept help

We have all probably heard about Mr. Clean, the household cleaning solution. It reminds people and helps people to be clean.

Now, I'm not going so far as to do real housecleaning. I've never been good at that. But I'm good at picking up and being tidy when needed, for guests, or even for my own comfort.

But I've decided to be Mrs. Clean when it comes to certain daily habits. Really I'm talking about bad habits, like letting dirty pots and dishes pile up, which is easy for me since I like to cook. Or leaving used cat feeding bowls sitting around. Or letting newspapers pile up. The house may not be dirty, but it's untidy, and it's not OK.

So at midyear review of resolutions, I'm turning over new leaves. Such as: Make more effort to change some messy habits. Of course habits are notoriously had to break and change. Experts say it takes 10 to 12 days of effort and routine to change a habit. Cultural norms are part of this. And so are our childhood socialization experiences. For instance, most Dutch housewives, a culture I admire, sweep their front steps and sidewalks daily. Of course I don't do that. I was not expected to do household duties, so I suppose that's part of it. I was just supposed to study and do well in school. And be nice. Minnesota nice they call it. Oh childhood, a mix of memory and fiction, I suppose.

But back to Mrs. Clean, there are a lot of helpers out there. Just recently I had my front porch and certain parts of the brick on the house power washed. That was a great help and only one example. There's the yard mowing and endless other clean and tidy matters to be handled.

So the point is: I can handle the “load the dishwasher more often” sort of task. And I can change some other indoor habits. But it's worth thinking about who could help with other tasks.

If bereaved or living alone, we might not have the motivation we once had ­­— let's be open to some help in addition to changing our own habits!

• Susan Anderson-Khleif of Sleepy Hollow has a doctorate in family sociology from Harvard, taught at Wellesley College and is a retired Motorola executive. Contact her at sakhleif@comcast.net or see her blog longtermgrief.tumblr.com.