Night driving changes, along with life, as you go it alone

Hope everyone has had a wonderful Christmas, Hanukkah and now the beginning of Kwanzaa. I did - and now on to New Year's!

There's still lots of festivities ahead. And many events are in the evening, after dark. Of course "the darkness" comes early this time of year. The Swedes call these short days "the darkness." And this means some driving at night, which can be a challenge - or even something to avoid altogether.

I had heard of people who didn't like to drive at night. I sort of figured they just did not like to stay up late. But when it started happening to me, I began to understand.

It's part of a bigger issue, not just darkness. It's part of being willing to adjust to life's changes.

These changes are many, of course. As it turns out, the start of cataracts are a factor. This blurred night vision comes to many with age, unfortunately. But there is more to it.

A big one for me is that my beloved Baheej and I used to go to evening events and dinners together. I was the co-pilot or he was the co-pilot if I was driving. We were not driving alone so it felt safe and secure. The GPS is no substitute for company. And of course years ago, we did not have GPS in the car or on our phones, so one needed a co-pilot just to find the way!

And there's more: Now we get to topics such as flexibility, rigidity and ability to adapt to new situations. And it starts pretty early in life.

The first one I can remember, I was only about 35. I went water skiing and didn't realize my legs weren't as strong as in my early 20s, which was the last time I had been on skis. On every one of those falls, I hit floating skis, resulting in lots of bruises the next day. It took a week to recover!

Then there is heavy and fast traffic. No problem some years ago, but now it's quite harrowing.

Also driving on ice. Years ago, I was fearless driving in snow on icy roads - even if I did end up in a snow bank off road a couple times. This seemed manageable and normal up there in northern Minnesota and Wisconsin. I used to drive often between Minneapolis and LaCrosse, Wisconsin, over snow-packed roads.

So the point is: Now we get to the current issue of night driving. We must adjust. Don't become a "fraidy cat," but just be cautious.

A sweet thing happened to me earlier this month. Two friends suggested we all go to a Brazilian restaurant for supper, about 35 minutes from here, and offered to do the driving, pick me up and bring me home. I have spent lots of time in Brazil and Argentina so this idea was very appealing to me. Certainly it was out of their way to pick me up, but such a nice kindness, knowing I do not like night driving.

Turns out, you can give the holiday gift of a simple ride to a party or New Year's dinner, or to a restaurant to a friend who doesn't like to drive at night, at basically no cost to you. Happy New Year!

• Susan Anderson-Khleif of Sleepy Hollow has a doctorate in family sociology from Harvard, taught at Wellesley College and is a retired Motorola executive. Contact her at sakhleif@comcast.net or see her blog longtermgrief.tumblr.com. See previous columns at www.dailyherald.com/topics/Anderson-Kleif-Susan.