Jim O'Donnell: Unlike Cubs in April '97, Sox fans have no option to shoot the goat
TWENTY-FIVE YEARS AGO - April 1997 - the Cubs opened the season 0-14.
That sort of dark start makes the White Sox current pan dripping look positively Pale Hose by comparison.
Deep in the streak - a skid that came with people like Mark Grace, Ryne Sandberg and Sammy Sosa forming the nucleus of the lineup - club president Andy MacPhail addressed The Broadcast Advertising Club of Chicago.
In a burst of candor worthy of Obvious Guy, MacPhail blamed the Cubs' abysmal start on "poor defense, baserunning and hitting."
Oh.
AT THE END of the "State of Futility" speech, someone asked MacPhail if The Curse of the Goat could be a factor.
Harry Caray, sitting nearby, next to Tribune Co. power man Jim Dowdle, broke in and guffawed, "Aww ... shoot the goat."
The goat was at least winged a few days later when Kevin Foster and the Woebegones scratched out a 4-3 win in the second game of a doubleheader over the host Mets.
BUOYED BY THAT BREAKOUT 1-14 ledger, Jim Riggleman and Co. would go on to post a 5-19 April en route to an empty-ivied 68-94 campaign.
One year later, Kerry Wood was on board, Sosa was hammering home runs like Jesus de la Hercules and the Cubs made a brief playoffs cameo.
All proving that fair-to-middlin' things come to Chicago baseball fans who wait.
FROM HIS DARTBOARDED PODIUM, MacPhail said: "You have to let them play. Let it sort itself out over time and it will."
That's the best the third-generation MLB front-office ace could generate.
Could current Sox GM Rick Hahn do any better?
Rumors briefly swept the Chicago sportscape Tuesday morning that Hahn was set to deliver a "State of the Sox" dike plugger.
The rumors faded. The Sox ostensibly are catching a break this week with host engagements vs. the Royals and the Angels.
AS FOR HAHN, what can he do?
He is powerless to fire "The Sleepy Senor" - Tony La Russa.
Injuries on the South Side have been so rampant that reading a game story or Sox analysis in recent days has been like looking at the playing board of the old battery-operated Operation buzzer game.
All the most fervent Sox fans can do is hope for the fair-to-middlin' as a first step back.
Despite the golden expectations of 2022, they don't have the option to shoot the goat.
STREET-BEATIN': Zach LaVine is out, Alex Caruso is likely out and the Bulls face the final curtain in Milwaukee Wednesday night against a heavily favored Bucks (-12 and counting). Despite the lobotomized booing at the United Center during Games 3 and 4, the season has been one of notable trending up for Billy Donovan and associates. Now, if only they can finagle a shrewd return on LaVine during the offseason. ...
Kirk Herbstreit will not participate in NFL Draft coverage from Las Vegas this week due to a manageable blood clot. Given the tedium of the bloated drill, the 52-year-old Ohio Stater obviously caught a favorable break. ...
Mike Mulligan of "The Score" put forth an intriguing theory Tuesday morning - the Sox shouldn't be expected to thrive in cold weather because of the number of impacting Latino players on the roster. So, come the Jack Frost of deep postseason and World Series play in Chicago, those same sons of the Caribbean wouldn't revert to being foul-out sicles? ...
NBC fortunate son Peter King is telling all who will listen that the NFL will pop out a Black Friday game on Thanksgiving weekend no later than 2023. That would mean a whole lot of American males suddenly developing "a sour stomach" to groan out of the shuffling mall drill. ...
For deepest devotees of old-school thoroughbred racing only: Veteran jock R.A. "Cowboy" Jones, 79, passed away. Jones was an occasional visitor to Chicago ovals. He'd ride a few cheapies, lose and leave rail birders humming, "Boy, 'The Cowboy' can sure still ride, can't he?" ...
And Charles Barkley, to Kenny Smith as a late-night studio wrap on TNT cruised toward the wee hours: "Hey Kenny, we makin' our move against 'The Man' tonight. We leavin' at 1."
• Jim O'Donnell's Sports and Media column appears three times weekly, including Thursday and Sunday. Reach him at jimodonnelldh@yahoo.com.